


But I Don't Want To Go Home Yet

by AshesStarsAndRedStringsOfFate



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Crying, Family, Fluff, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Multi, Panic Attacks, Sensory Overload, character fusion, meltdowns
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-04
Updated: 2018-12-04
Packaged: 2019-09-07 05:39:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,067
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16848196
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AshesStarsAndRedStringsOfFate/pseuds/AshesStarsAndRedStringsOfFate
Summary: He has okay days, bad days, and meh days. Today was definitely a bad day. No, calling it a bad day was being too generous. It was a horrible day.OR: Viran’s brain decides to go into overdrive the one day he wishes it wouldn’t, and his family deals with the fallout.





	But I Don't Want To Go Home Yet

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Fangirltothefullest](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fangirltothefullest/gifts).



> So, this was inspired by @fangirltothefullest over on Tumblr and her wonderful fusions, especially Viran. I got permission to write this, and HOO BOY IT TOOK SO LONG but I hope it’s worth it! If you enjoy this, please go check Tashi out, her stuff is amazing. Enough of my rambling, and on with the story!
> 
> Also, if you read this on Tumblr, my Tumblr is @magicallygrimmwiccan, so no, I'm not stealing this.

He has okay days, bad days, and meh days. Today was definitely a bad day. No, calling it a bad day was being too generous. It was a  _ horrible  _ day. 

 

 

He woke up that morning and everything was just  _ too much _ . The sun, the noises from the rest of the house, the blankets, his pyjamas, his clothing, just  _ everything _ . Yesterday had been fine, it was an okay day, so why was everything horrible right now? 

 

 

Someone pounded on his door, and he flinched, two of his arms going up to cover his ears while the other two wrapped around his torso in an attempt to provide some semblance of comfort. 

 

 

“Viran! Get up! You’re heading out to see your family today, remember?” Creaity. Too loud too loud too l _ oud too loud too loud  _ **_too loud_ ** . 

 

 

“Viran?” And that was Moxie. Sweet, sensitive, caring Moxie who had apparently never heard of this thing called  _ volume control _ . 

 

 

“Yeah?” he finally managed to call back, biting back his wince. He didn’t want to make them worry, because if they were worried about him then they wouldn’t let him go see his family and then he wouldn’t see them for another few months and then his family would get worried and maybe they wouldn’t let him leave and then he would be trapped back there, back in that horrible place, and and and  _ and  _ **_and_ ** … 

 

 

“You doing okay?” Progic. Joy. “Normally you’re talking our ears off about some cryptid or another. You sick or something?” 

 

 

“Viran, if you’re sick, you should stay home today. I’m sure your family would understand.” 

 

 

“NO! No, I’m fine, I’m not sick, I promise!” he yelped, scrambling out of bed and dashing over to throw open his door. His fleece blanket slipped down his shoulders, and when his eyes finally adjusted, he saw the three worried faces of his housemates staring back at him. 

 

 

“Okay…” Progic drawled. “If you’re sure…” 

 

 

“Absolutely! I’ll be down in a few minutes, ready to go,” he answers, forcing a smile onto his face. With that, he slammed the door and set off to get dressed. His nerves soothed slightly as he wiggled into his normal outfit, and his anxieties settled slightly as he fastened his watches around his wrists. He finally found his glasses and slid them onto his face before going to deal with his messy hair. Even though they had all seen him with messier hair, he should still attempt to look somewhat presentable. 

 

 

He carefully ruffled the fur of all four of his guinea pigs, saying goodbye, before steeling himself and leaving his room. Immediately, the loud screeches that had been dulled by the thick red oak door slammed into his senses at full force, almost causing him to curl into himself from the shock and pain. He grit his teeth and continued down the stairs, needing to get coffee into his system. He ignored the rolling in his stomach, he ignored the spots of black and bright light dancing across his vision, and he ignored the ringing in his ears in favour of pretending that everything was fine. 

 

 

“And Viran enters, looking positively dashing this particular morning-” Decan stood in the corner, narrating as he usually did, the black and white filter that seemed to follow him everywhere slowly spreading across the kitchen. He cut him off before he could continue, more concerned with getting his coffee and heading off to his family. 

 

 

“Thank you for the approval, Decan. I look awful, you don’t have to lie,” he grumbled, quickly filling three large travel coffee mugs almost to the brim before sealing the mugs. He was the only one in his family who was actually any good at making coffee, and he didn’t want to taste Roman’s grainy shit or Patton’s weak brew or even Thomas’s well-meaning-but-disgusting sludge. 

 

 

“It’s part of who I am, darling. I can’t help it,” Decan replied, leaning over to kiss his forehead. “Do you have your keys?” 

 

 

“Yes,” he replied, holding up the Nightmare Before Christmas lanyard with alien keychains and figures. Decan chuckled and ruffled his hair, messing up all of his two minutes of hard work. He squealed and batted Decan’s hands away from his chestnut locks and started for Progic’s lab. 

 

 

“Do you have your phone?” Decan called. He simply reached into his pocket to pull it out, waving it before dropping it back in. 

 

 

“Okay! Have fun, sweetheart!” He waved back to his… person… and continued on his way, eager to see his family again. 

 

 

Progic glanced up as he came down and sighed, grabbing his portal gun. “Okay, you ready?” At his nod, Progic fires, and he steps through the swirling pastel purple portal. Bright lights assaulted his eyes, and when he opened them, he found himself back in his living room with no one around. Where was his family?

 

 

“Viran! You’re back!” someone squealed, crashing into his side with almost enough force to topple him, even though he towered over everyone in his family. He tightened his grip on his multiple coffees to make sure he didn’t drop them, and he glanced down to see a fluffy head of light brown hair. He felt a pair of chunky glasses digging into his side as the person tightened their grip, and he finally connected the dots: Patton was the one hugging him. 

 

 

“Viran! You’re alive! Welcome back, friendo!” That was Roman. Roman, who crashed into his other side and squeezed even tighter than Patton had. Roman, who had practically screamed his greeting as he charged. Roman, who was loud and bright on a normal day but now seemed ten times worse and he wasn’t sure he could handle it. 

 

 

“Uh… can you release me, please? I need to set stuff down, and you’re kind of strangling me…” he mumbled. Patt and Ro immediately let go, apologies falling from their lips faster than he could process them. His breathing picked up, and his vision, which had been blurry and spotty to begin with, completely melted into a pool of colours with no indistinguishable edges or lines. He dimly registered four thuds, one accompanied by a metallic jingle, as his hands loosened their grip. A hot, sticky substance trailed down his face, and he tried desperately to figure out what was wrong with him.

 

 

“Guys! Back off, you’re overwhelming him!” Thomas. Thomas was here. Everything was going to be okay.  

 

 

“Hey, Viran? Can you follow my breathing?” Breathing. He could do breathing. In for… four? Four. Right?

 

 

“In for four.” Oh, so he was right. In for four. “Hold for seven.” Hold for seven. Why couldn’t he hold for seven? “That’s okay, Viran, try again. In for four.” In for four. “Hold for seven.” Why was holding it so hard? “Out for eight.” Oh, he’d done it. Out for eight. 

 

 

“Good, good, you’re doing great, Viran. Let’s go again. In for four.” 

 

 

Finally, he managed to get his vision to clear, his hearing to stabilize, and his brain to shut up for  _ two goddamn seconds _ . Finally, he raised his head to see the three looking down at him in concern. 

 

 

“Viran? You gucci? What happened?” Roman asked, arching his perfectly shaped eyebrows, maybe in concern, maybe in judgement. 

 

 

“I am perfectly fine, Roman, thank you for your concern,” he replies, ignoring the fact that his voice sounded like someone had clogged his throat with a thick, viscous substance and had only cleared out the centre of the throat. 

 

 

“Yeah, nice try. You just had a panic attack, Viran, so obviously you’re not okay. I ask again— what happened?” Goddamnit, he didn’t fool Roman. He’d ruined everything, because now they would either send him back and he wouldn’t see them for so long, or they would keep him here and he would never see his new family ever again. 

 

 

“Hey, hey, Viran, honey, calm down, it’s okay,” Patton soothed, rubbing his hand up and down on of Viran’s arms. He leaned into the touch, and Patton wrapped him into a tight hug as he did so. 

 

 

“Viran, just talk to us. We want to help, I promise,” Thomas murmured, giving him a calming smile. He bit his lip and debated the benefits of telling them his fears. Finally, though, Patton and Thomas’s puppy dog eyes did him in. 

 

 

“Just… I woke up this morning, and everything was  _ too much _ , you know? The noises, and the lights, and the sensations; everything seemed to be out to make me miserable this morning. And I didn’t want that to get in the way of visiting you guys, so I just… shoved it down. Ignored it. Because I was scared that if I gave in, acknowledged the fact that I wasn’t feeling well, then I’d be forced to stay at ho- at the manor, and that you guys would be mad. Either that, or you’d blame my fa- my friends for the fact that I didn’t feel well and not let me leave as a result. So, just… everything kinda… exploded when both Ro and Patt charged me. No offense, guys. It’s my own stupid brain’s fault for not being wired properly,” he explained, fidgeting with the bands of his watches. He wanted to pull out his fidget necklace, but he didn’t think Roman would appreciate that. He’d always found it annoying. 

 

 

“Viran? Could I give you a hug, please?” Thomas softly requested after a moment of silence and anxious fidgeting. He slowly nodded, and he suddenly found himself engulfed in a hug that soothed all of his frazzled nerves almost instantly. He practically melted, and Thomas just squeezed him tighter in response. 

 

 

“Alright, now, I want you to listen very carefully to what I’m about to tell you. Okay?” He nods. “None of us here will ever, and I mean  _ ever _ , blame you for something that is out of your control. Nor will we ever blame your friends; they have no control over this either. Everyone has bad days, Viran, and it’s not your fault,” Thomas soothed, rubbing his hand up and down his back. Patton slowly joins in, murmuring reassurances and words of affirmation. Roman just crouches down within his field of vision, giving him his space while still showing his support. He breaks down bawling again, and his first family rushes to reassure him. He waves them off, sniffing out a “I’m fine, just still overwhelmed.” 

 

 

“Just let it all out, Viran. You’re okay, we’re here,” Thomas soothed. He finally released the dam holding back his tears and surrendered to the soothing warmth of the arms of his family, letting all of the emotions he’d bottled up for months out at once. They sat on the floor in a tangle for what seemed like forever, but in reality was only a few minutes. Finally, the tears slowed, and he felt like he could finally breathe. He pulled back, wiping at his eyes with the heels of his hands, not caring if he smudged his eyeshadow. He gave his family a shaky smile. He needed to let them know that he was okay. 

 

 

“Here's your coffee, Viran,” Patton mumbled, gently pressing two of his three thermoses into two of his hands. He takes them gratefully, mumbling a “Thanks, Patton” in response, and he shakily sips one of the coffees, holding the other one close to his stomach in an effort to absorb its warmth. 

 

 

“Now, Viran, how about we all work on a puzzle? I found this 1000 piece one the other day and I think you might really enjoy it,” Thomas asks, smiling. He nods. Puzzles are fun. Puzzles will help him calm down. He stood, accepting his keys and last thermos from Roman, and followed Thomas out to the kitchen so that he could set his stuff down. The second he saw the puzzles, his eyes lit up with joy. It was a puzzle of space. Space was fine. Space was calming. He loved space. Thomas chuckled and headed back out to the living room so that they could all assemble the puzzle. He knew that he would probably help them finish it in about an hour or so, but still. The fact that his family was willing to change their plans for him was… comforting, to say the least. For the first time that day, he truly smiled. All was right with the world. Everything was perfect. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading, guys! I hope you enjoyed my crack at Viran, Tashi!. Please go show Tashi some love! I’ll get back to posting all of my Inktober stuff later. Please feel free to leave me your thoughts! Bye for now~
> 
> ~Logan


End file.
